Mon Corps

Trigger warning – eating disorder

As a woman, for as long as I can remember, my body has been subject to scrutiny. Too fat, too thin, too muscular, too saggy. I grew up hearing that I needed to lose weight, and this led to a tremendous eating disorder that was often celebrated by society, as I finally fit the ideals of beauty. What the world didn't know is that the thinner I got, the worse the narrative in my head became. And thus, my body dysmorphia grew and turned into a monster I could no longer control. I would pay close attention to what society/the media said I should look like; overly and carefully analysing every imperfection there was to me. It took all of my time, courage and energy to change this and to ignore what the world was telling me to do when it came to my body. I figured "I have to live in it, so I may as well love it for what it is." It took all of me to take control of the monster. I wrote this poem for the millions of women and men that will, have and are going through this right now. I want them to know that they're not alone, and that their bodies are magical, and for them to enjoy and live in – not to be subject to the criticism and scrutiny of others. I want to contribute to changing the narrative and negative dialogue that we often tell ourselves when it comes to our image. To accept ourselves and each other for who we are.

– Connie Zehender